LAGOS, NIGERIA — Nigerian media personality, actress, and lifestyle entrepreneur Toke Makinwa has stirred conversations across the country after making a bold declaration about her views on marriage and modern womanhood.
Speaking on the latest episode of her popular podcast Toke Moments, the 40-year-old star openly admitted that she has reached a point in her life where she would consider being a second, third, fourth, or even fifth wife — if given the opportunity.
“At this point in my life, if I have the opportunity to be the second, third, fourth, or fifth wife, I will take it,” Makinwa said during the podcast, which aired on her official YouTube channel.
Her candid remarks have since gone viral on social media, sparking both support and criticism while shedding light on the pressures faced by independent women in contemporary Nigerian society.
“Being the Boss Everywhere Can Be Exhausting”
During the episode, which featured renowned designer and textile artist Banke Kuku, Makinwa questioned whether the modern idea of independent womanhood has been overly romanticized, particularly by women who find themselves juggling success, visibility, and personal sacrifice.
“As independent women, do you think that we have glamourised this notion of being independent?” Makinwa asked.
Kuku replied in agreement, acknowledging the complexities behind what is often portrayed as empowerment.
Makinwa didn’t hold back in describing how the constant need to “be in control” in her professional and personal life has left her craving a sense of emotional security and shared responsibility — something she implied is lacking in her current lifestyle.
“Let me tell you what the biggest thing for me is — I am the boss everywhere and that could be tiring,” she explained. “You feel like you need someone to lean on. Someone that could decide what is for dinner. Must it be me?”
Her words highlighted a deeper emotional vulnerability, one that many women in leadership and public-facing roles can relate to. It also opened up a broader conversation around the mental toll of hyper-independence and the desire for companionship, no matter how unconventional the structure may be.
A Shift in Personal Outlook
Makinwa’s latest comments reflect a significant shift in her views on love and partnership compared to earlier in her career, where she often emphasized self-reliance and independence.
Her openness to non-traditional marital arrangements appears to be influenced by life experience and emotional maturity. Having already gone through a highly publicized marriage and subsequent divorce, the On Becoming author now seems more focused on emotional support and companionship over societal validation.
Toke Makinwa was previously married to fitness entrepreneur Maje Ayida in 2014. However, the marriage ended in 2017 amid public controversy, including reports of infidelity and a child born outside the union. Since then, Makinwa has maintained a high-profile public life, focusing on media, fashion, acting, and podcasting.
In late 2024, reports surfaced suggesting that Makinwa had quietly tied the knot with longtime friend and rumored partner, Farouk Umar. However, she swiftly shut down the speculation, clarifying that the event in question was a Thanksgiving gathering and that the two were simply “besties.”
Mixed Reactions Trail Makinwa’s Revelation
Unsurprisingly, her statement has generated massive discussion on social platforms like X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, and TikTok. While many praised her honesty and willingness to speak from the heart, others questioned whether endorsing polygamy — even hypothetically — sends the right message to her large female audience.
One user on X wrote, “Toke is just being real. Being strong doesn’t mean you don’t get tired. She’s saying what many women won’t dare admit.”
Another commented, “So because you’re tired, you’re okay with being fifth on the list? That’s not empowerment, it’s defeat.”
Others viewed her comments through the lens of African cultural dynamics, where polygamy remains practiced in certain communities and has increasingly become a conversation topic among urban elites exploring alternative relationship models.
“She’s not promoting polygamy per se,” said one social commentator. “She’s talking about the human need for rest, love, and partnership in any form that brings peace.”
A Broader Cultural Moment
Makinwa’s remarks arrive at a time when discussions around relationships, marriage, and gender roles are undergoing radical transformation, particularly among millennials and Gen Z Nigerians. With rising divorce rates, growing female financial independence, and changing societal norms, traditional expectations of marriage are being questioned — and redefined.
Toke Makinwa, with her unfiltered honesty and celebrity platform, appears to be embracing that evolution head-on. Whether one agrees with her viewpoint or not, there’s no denying that she continues to be a voice for a generation navigating the intersection of modernity, culture, and personal desire.
Her podcast Toke Moments, which regularly features candid discussions on love, identity, career, and social dynamics, has become one of Nigeria’s most-watched digital talk shows, amassing thousands of views per episode and a loyal fanbase eager to hear her unfiltered takes.
Final Thoughts
Whether or not she ever becomes a “fifth wife,” Toke Makinwa has made one thing abundantly clear: she’s not afraid to challenge norms, question societal expectations, and advocate for emotional honesty — no matter how unconventional it may seem.
“I want to be able to rest. I want to be taken care of sometimes,” she concluded during the podcast. “That shouldn’t be too much to ask.”
As the conversations sparked by her statement continue to unfold, one thing is certain — Toke Makinwa knows how to get people talking.
